Lotsa high-speed, Low latency modems!
Do you have lots of extra modems and devices with holes in the back that you can plug varrious objects into? Objects such as wires, screews, baby fingers, etc.

Daughterboards! The backbone of every high-tech ISP!
Do you have a couple high-tech ultra-expensive daughter boards laying around?

This is my home ISP setup from old atary parts and televisions!
Hey! How about you build your own Dial-Up ISP for fun and profit!!! Plus the ladies dig it!!!

Look at all of the customers I had!
Look how simple it is to wire it up! This is what we started out with in 1998.

Look at all of the customers I had!
So easy, A baby could do it! This is our current setup as of August 34th, 2002. We molded plastic around our hardware to make it look like those fake modems you see on TV.

Enough jibba jabber... foo... Lets get on with how to start off creating your own dial up ISP so your buddies or customers can play the latest high-tech games, Stream DVD's, Listen to music, Use the latest in USB technology, AND print things!

Motherboard, CPU Chip, Memory, Heatsink
Ok, So you got your ATX Pentium(c) motherboard, PI 133mhz chip, some EDO RAM, a heatsink (optional) and a buncha cards. Put them aside on the carpet. We dont need them now.

Our high-preformance motherboard
Here's our high-preformance motherboard. Lets prepare it for use!

486 66MHZ
If you have a 486 and you are lucky enough to be able to get one of these to fit in the socket 7 slot, Your ISP will reach BLAZING SPEEDS. Unfortiounately, we wern't able to and we bent the pins a little bit. So we melted them down and sold the gold.

486 66MHZ
Instead, We resorted to the Pentium I chip with their new MMX(tm) technology.

High-Quality Heatsink
This processor computes so much information and does so much work that it heeds a high-quality heatsink to draw all of that dissipated heat away from the processor. This one is made of die-cast iridium with a thermal conductivity of 147 J/m-sec-deg and weighs around 21 pounds.

High-Quality heatsink is mounted
Here is how you mount the heatsink. You must be careful not to crush the die of the processor in the process. It is reccomended you get 2-3 extra friends to help you out on this laberous task.

Our High-preformance EDO memory
Here's all our memory. 2 16MB chips, 1 high preformance 8MB chip, and 1 ultra-high preformance 2MB, 32 bit chip. The 8MB chip will speed up downloads, and the 2MB chip will buffer the DVD movie streaming to clients.

Memory installation
Just put em in the slot. All there is to it!

Daughter Board Preperation
We must prepare the daughter boards for use on the motherboard. If one of them dosn't fit in the ASI slot, Just break some pieces off the part of the card that goes into the slot untill it fits. Dont worry, the lost connections that we broke off wont slow down clients one bit or cause system instability.

Daughterboard Insertion
Now, Insert the 2nd daughter board into the 1st daughter board's ASI slot. If it dosn't fit into that slot either, cut it up just like the previous step.

1st Modem
Now that the daughter boards are hooked up, It's time to install our modems. Put the smallest modem in this slot since this slot has the least room. This will be our slowest customer.

2nd Modem
Awsome! You did a great job installing that first modem! Now, Repeat the same process on this parallel port card. This modem has the most bandwidth becuase it is furthest away from the motherboard and has the most holes to plug wires into. So be sure to install it firmly becuase somone will be very unhappy if it dosn't work!

3rd Modem
Super! You did it correctly! Now, Install the sound card. This will be modified later on to be used as a half-duplex parallel port card. This is for a customer that needs the bandwidth, but dosn't need the extremely low latency that the parrallel port offers.

4th modem
Great! Next up, The 10MBPS ethernet card. This one is almost as good as the gameport on the sound card, but has slightly less bandwidth that is just enough to stream DVD movies, That's why it's on the 2nd daughter board and not the 1st, as most people would notmally put it.

Look! More slots! Do you know what that means? We have the delux model! We can install 3 more modems!
HEY NOT SO FAST BUDDY! You did a shitty job installing that ethernet card. Re-do it. Now..... Ok good, thats better
Now, it's time to flip our baby over, What's this? Delux model? Three more slots! YAY! More modems to install!

5th modem
Simply install this high-speed modem onto the 1st daughter board.

6th modem
Next modem...

7th modem
Tadaaaaa! We are done installing the modems onto the daughterboards. Time to put them on the motherboard!

On to the next page!